Sharing vulnerably because that's what I do...
I've been on this transformative path for 17 or 18 years, really in high gear for the last 9 with a lot of amazing progress & achievements, nothing short of miracles.
My path has been painted with adversity after adversity. I'm a double 11 life path & destiny number.
I feel this deep yearning, calling, drive to rise victoriously & face every challenge with the heart of a warrior goddess.
I don't know where this comes from but it is the signature of my essence. Brave heart. Scared heart. Screaming blood curdling screams of a mixture of both ready to battle. Sometimes the battle is surrender...
I'm having a gnarly surgery to deliver my third child, my daughter Star. There's a small chance I could die, about 7%. For those who survive, usually you undergo an immediate hysterectomy to control the torrential bleeding that is inevitable in this situation called placenta accreta with placenta previa.
I feel called to surrender complete control, to hold everything I love close in my awareness & ask for the spiritual balls, lesson & evolution it will require.
I call out to the great creator of all things... I lay down my swords that have protected me my whole life... I lay them down at the foot of life, of the great mystery. I surrender to what I do not know & im ready to see what I've been missing. I surrender my life to whom ever or what ever is in charge & may my spirit come to full blossom in this life. May it shine bright, may it heal tremendously those around me, may my pain & my suffering be of the highest offering.
I surrender. I surrender.
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With love & humility