Answering the Call of the Wild Woman - By Robin Rivera
As I sit here feeling betrayed, upset, & flabbergasted that I have been scrutinized time and time again by men, institutions, and at times the law… I am seeing more clearly. The story of me being wrong, bad, too much, or too little is nothing but a sad socially constructed one.
In the night, in my dark hours weeping, I can hear her whispering to me, calling me to remember. And as i write this, I let her inhabit me, I let her tell me her story.
I feel tears well up in my eyes as I listen because there has been a grave misunderstanding about who I am in this world. It was I who was defiant, I who dressed scantily, I who revolted and spit and cried out with longing and rage. I was arrested, medicated, and labeled damaged.
The wild woman, the wise woman… shows me my story for my story is her story.
I was not wrong or broken. I have never tried to disguise myself as good girl. I am not a liar or a fake. I thought these were my defects, but she shows me this was & is my brilliance. I did what I wanted, I followed my darkness and my bliss. I have lived out loud. I have taken wild risks… done and achieved things none, not one, of my friends dare to try.
But, I, I… I am the one who has lived so closely to the wild woman she lives and breathes through me. Society taught me to shame her, to get degrees, to try to CHANGE this part of me so as to fit in the small woman box.
But, I am not small & never have been. I am not tame or quiet. Lady like or reserved.
I see these horrible and amazing things I have experienced, fought for, and technically died for… these are not my weaknesses, these are my strengths. For I am the one who could not deny the wild woman in me even if I wanted to. I remember her now… I want to honor her now.
I see myself 9 years old playing in my underwear in the creek, fishing with my hands, crushing blackberries on the rocks to make jam… I see her climbing trees naked in Maui, diving in the ocean to catch crabs without a net, dancing to the drums topless... I remember now. She is I, and I am her.
I evoke & awaken the wild woman in me & the wild woman in you. She's alive.